By Anne Gagliano
I have a confession to make: Sometimes I read the texts on my firefighter husband’s cell phone. I don’t do this because I’m nosy, suspicious, paranoid, or even bored. I do it to get a good laugh. And I only read the ones from his firehouse; the rest don’t interest me.
There will be a running commentary of some random thought that is picked up and carried and added to till the original thought is no longer recognizable. For example, the first text is a question such as, “Who’s cooking next shift?” Then when all have weighed in, it will then be a discussion on kangaroos and goats (true story).
Firefighter humor–it is in a class of its own. Swift, sharp, and fast, it rises like a mighty wind, breathtaking in its force. I’m not sure how or even why it is so; I just know that it is. Firefighters, the really good ones, always have the best sense of humor.
Perhaps it is because firefighters have many shared interests. Perhaps it’s because the job can be so grim. Or perhaps it’s because you must be pretty sharp to even become a firefighter. I do know this: My firefighter’s sense of humor has helped him to have an amazing career as both a firefighter and a captain. But it has also helped us to have a truly happy marriage as well.
Firefighter, with a finely tuned sense of humor you will be the following:
A Better Firefighter. If you can’t laugh at the firehouse, no one will really want to be around you. You will be as a wet blanket suppressing the light-hearted mood that is otherwise contagious. Jokes around the beanery; friendly, joyful conversations–these make the firehouse a pleasant place to be. If all you can do is talk of religion and politics, complain about bad leadership, or get angry when all is not as you wish, you will not be the best firefighter you can be. Laughter is a gift you give; people are always drawn to the ones who make them smile. Laughter relieves tension; it is the best remedy for a tough run. So lighten up and keep the Debbie Downer stuff to a minimum; negativity hurts everyone, especially you.
A Better Leader. One of the finest, noblest leaders of all time was Abraham Lincoln. He saw our nation through its worst years, those of the Civil War. Brother fought brother, the country was divided and about to fall, and half a million Americans died. But President Lincoln held it all together despite the odds. By war’s end, not only was the country still intact, but even his worst political enemies had grown to respect him, even to love him. One of the keys to his success? His amazing sense of humor.
Abe could find humor in every situation. He loved people and remembered amusing anecdotes that could be relayed in the direst of circumstances. His gift of humor put others at ease, diffused tense arguments, even allayed fears. A true leader never takes himself too seriously; President Lincoln told funny stories of himself, of his own failings and faux pas. He was self-deprecating, clever, humble, and really funny. The leaders of the fire department should take note.
A Better Mate. Nothing bonds two people quite like laughter. You remember the people who make you smile. And you really remember the people who make you laugh so hard that you forget your troubles. Laughter is good for the brain, the body, the soul.
A strong sense of humor belies a keen intelligence and a creative, thoughtful, original mind. It also reveals an attitude–one of contentment rather than discontent. These qualities are extremely attractive, even irresistible.
The firefighter who exhibits humor only at the firehouse and not at home is doing a grave disservice to his or her spouse. Make sure you bring that humor home with you. Dazzle your mate with your sharp wit and watch the sparks fly. Laughter is contagious; share the joy and you’ll get it right back. My firefighter gladly tells me the beanery stories and displays his wit with me too. I applaud his skills and his gift of humor. And he loves that I share it, as I am his perfect match. It is absolutely true that the couple who plays together stays together; after 31 years, we still make each other laugh. Our ability to find and share humor helps us stay emotionally strong, healthy, and close.
How do we create humor? It comes from a joyful spirit, a positive attitude. If you’re having trouble finding “the lighter side,” the comedy amid trouble, happiness in tough times, it helps to remember these three things:
Happiness is a choice. Our founding fathers were wise in their choice of words: “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” They knew that happiness doesn’t just happen; it must be pursued.
If you wait for everything to be perfect before you find anything to laugh about, you’ll be waiting forever. Life will never be perfect. There will always be something wrong, somewhere, somehow. Troubles and tough storms await everyone. The key is to choose how to react.
“Tis the set of the soul that decides its goal, and not the calm or the strife.”–Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
It’s your ship, as my husband likes to say; you decide its course. Humor makes the journey better not just for you but for everyone around you.
Secure beliefs help you laugh at your troubles. Know who you are and what you believe. Trust that someone bigger than you controls that which you cannot. It’s not all up to you, so relax.
“Only if we are secure in our beliefs can we see the comical side of the universe.”–Flannery O’Connor.
In other words, have a little faith–faith in God, faith in others, faith in yourself. Only then will your sense of humor flourish.
Stay riveted in the present. The happiest people don’t live in the past. They don’t dwell on demoralizing mistakes that were made long ago and cannot be undone. It’s over and done with; don’t waste your time and strength reliving it.
We can’t control the future either. Fearing what may come to pass is also a waste of precious energy and a major joy stealer.
Instead, stay firmly in the here and now. This is the only time we can control: today. Focus on the moment, and you will see joy there. Humor. Fun. Happiness. It can be found, but only if you look for it.
A sense of humor makes you better all around; it will draw others to you as you share fun and laughter and a positive attitude. Humor spills from the one who chooses to find the good in any circumstance. Strengthen your career and strengthen your marriage with a little dose of humor. It is guaranteed to work.
Anne Gagliano has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 31 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
