By Anne Gagliano
Thanksgiving is upon us. What a wonderful holiday tradition, a day to simply give thanks. In the rush to prepare for Christmas, it often gets simply glossed over–at least the true meaning of it does. We never forget the food. But firefighter couples, let’s not forget to give thanks this year. Ours is a busy, chaotic life full of the pressures of community service, life and death, and sleep deprivation. Cancer and danger and car wrecks and line-of-duty deaths. Low staffing and low wages and low-quality leadership. All the dark sides of humanity that threaten to make the firefighter and, by association, the firefighter spouse, cynical. Negative. Hopeless.
I often tell my firefighter “the good stuff” to help him remember when the dark days threaten to overwhelm. I do this by keeping a mental list. I have prepared such a list just for you this Thanksgiving, a little “how to” on remembering the good stuff in all our lives. It starts from the broadest perspective and narrows down to the most intimate. Count each blessing one by one, as you have more than you realize.
Firefighter couples, give thanks for your country. We are a unique country, a very special first in history. The first to even celebrate a day for giving thanks to God as a national holiday. It’s easy to forget this with all the frontline negative news. Seems today’s establishments almost hate this country. Don’t let their cynicism become yours; remember “the good stuff” about America, and Thanksgiving is a great example.
The very first Thanksgiving was celebrated nearly 400 years ago in the fall of 1621. The Pilgrims had their first successful harvest, largely due to the help of Squanto, an English-speaking native American who taught the Pilgrims how to cultivate corn, extract sap from maple trees, fish, and avoid poisonous plants. Squanto also acted as liaison with the local Wampanoag Indians with which the Pilgrims formed a lasting friendship that lasted more than 50 years.
The Pilgrims were so grateful and thankful that they invited the Wampanoag to the first ever American Thanksgiving feast—a feast that lasted three days. The tradition was thus born, and it did not die.
Our first president, George Washington, expanded it when he issued a “Thanksgiving Proclamation” in 1789. He advocated for an American day to express gratitude for the “happy conclusion of the Revolutionary War and the successful ratification of the U.S. Constitution.” This “attitude of gratitude” proclaimed by our founding father lived on in American hearts and was unofficially celebrated throughout the country for subsequent decades.
Then, in 1863, President Lincoln made it an official holiday to be celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November. We are the first country to do this. To recognize our blessings, our freedoms, our uniqueness. And to thank God together as a united nation.
Firefighter couples, you live in the greatest country in the world, conceived by brave souls who sought freedom and gave thanks when they found it. Count this as a blessing this year.
Firefighter couples, give thanks for your profession. Despite the frustrations and limitations that come with civil service, firefighting is still the greatest job on earth. You get to save lives for a living; it doesn’t get any better than that. You help people on their darkest days, even on their Turkey-fire days. (Thanksgiving is the peak cooking fire day of the year.)
You have the privilege of working with the finest souls on earth. Brothers and sisters who share your laughter and have your back. Yours is an atmosphere of deepest trust and devotion, much like family. You eat together, sleep together, risk your lives together–all in a 24-hour shift. You are not a “disposable employee,” as is the case in most of corporate America, but an indispensable cherished mate of a team where every member is needed, or people die.
As unique as your country, yours is a profession of highest calling and sacred aspirations. Rich with tradition and value, the fire service is noble and decent and good. Count this as a blessing this year.
Firefighter couples, give thanks for your children and grandchildren. From the day they are born, they are an extension of your marriage, an embodiment of the mystery of love wherein two “become one flesh.” They have your good qualities and your bad qualities and their own unique qualities. Their triumphs bring incredible joy—their struggles bring unbearable pain. The love of a parent for a child is the closest we’ll ever come to being truly unselfish as it is a sacrificial, one-way street that can never truly be reciprocated.
Our children are the reason we fight—to provide all that is good for them and for their children after them. And trust me, grandchildren are the ultimate blessing—they bring all the joy, minus the work. Pictured is our precious little granddaughter Quinn with her first Thanksgiving turkey from last year. Your children and grandchildren, count them as a blessing this year.
Firefighter couples, give thanks for your marriage. Your marriage has made it another year—this alone is reason to celebrate. Statistics show that for every year of marriage, the chances of divorce drop dramatically. Year one, there’s a risk one in four will end. By year 50, the chances drop to one in 1,500. These statistics indicate that with each passing day, your marriage grows stronger.
Marriage is the ultimate human relationship. A joining of two hearts, two minds, two bodies into one. Someone has chosen to be with you and only you all of their days. You may not be perfect, they may not be perfect, but you are perfect for each other. Never take for granted the love and intimacy and deepest friendship offered to you by your mate; it truly is a gift. Firefighter, give thanks that you have a spouse who stands with you in your calling. And firefighter spouse, be thankful you’re married to someone who places such value on human life. Your marriage is extra special for these reasons. Count this as a blessing this year.
Firefighter couples, give thanks to God. Thanksgiving—a show of gratitude to God for all His blessings. Blessings—anything that gives happiness, comfort, joy. All blessings ultimately come from God: “Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”–Psalm 107: 8-9
Godly principles inspired the birth of a free nation, the service of firefighters, the wish to unselfishly raise children, and the desire to unite with just one person for life. How can we help but be truly grateful this year when we remember these things?
Anne Gagliano has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 32 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
