IT`S NOT TOO LATE FOR NEW YEAR`S RESOLUTIONS
BY MICHAEL F. STALEY
Testing and evaluating equipment are part of every firefighter`s daily routine. We do it to ensure that everything with which we work is the best it can be for efficiency, effectiveness, and safety. Drawing an analogy from the intelligence of this examination for excellence, I propose that once a year we test and evaluate ourselves as well. I`m talking about a private, honest, heart-to-heart look at our strengths and weaknesses–and more. This should be a personal, annual call to action–New Year`s resolutions.
As a firefighter, you are a complicated individual with many facets. Self-evaluation should address as many of these as you can identify. Although there are more (and probably you have some I have never thought of!), here are a few of the categories for you to consider: spiritual, professional, emotional, educational, physical, and financial.
IS THERE A RESOLUTION IN YOUR FUTURE?
Find a quiet moment. If you`re as busy as I am, you may have to resort to commercial breaks during a favorite televised sporting event. No matter. It only takes a few minutes to get the ball rolling. Get some paper and a pen, and prepare yourself for total honesty. List the categories I`ve suggested and ask yourself some key questions, concentrating on one category at a time.
Am I doing the best I can do?
If I knew I had only six months to live, would I being doing this the same way?
Am I living in a way that is consistent with my values and goals?
Am I doing what I promised myself I would do?
If you answered yes to all the questions, then you have achieved perfection. Call me–I want to study with you. If you answered no to any of these questions, then you may be ready for a New Year`s resolution or two.
RESOLUTIONS MEAN MAKING CHANGES
If you are dissatisfied with an area of your life and are ready to take control of it, you should make certain that you understand the nature of personal change. The behaviors you currently are practicing are serving you in some way; otherwise, you would not be practicing them. To change a behavior, you should determine what purpose your current behavior is serving, then determine if the new behavior will serve a better purpose.
For example, let`s say you decide that this year you will give up smoking. So you ask yourself, “Why have I not done this before? What purpose is smoking serving? And, if I give it up, can I serve my purpose another way?”
The answer might be that you haven`t given up smoking before because it might be too hard for you to suffer through the withdrawal and, frankly, you like to smoke because it calms you down, gives you something to do with your hands, makes you feel like a grown-up, and helps you keep your weight down. For you to quit, you have to serve your purposes another way.
This year you are strong enough to suffer the withdrawal because you just figured out that lung cancer, heart disease, and death are more difficult to endure. You can stay calm now because you are older, wiser, and more experienced than when you started smoking. You also know about deep breathing exercises. You no longer need to worry about what to do with your hands because you have discovered your pockets and just noticed that your nonsmoking friends let their hands dangle from the ends of their arms with no concern. You already feel like an adult because you are an adult.
Now, you associate being adult with maturity, and maturity with good decision making, and you know that smoking is not a good decision for you. As for your weight, you are an athlete. Weight is a simple matter of balancing intake and output–calories and exercise. Lowering your calorie intake and getting more exercise are going to be great for you.
The results of not smoking? You will be in control. You`ll be healthier and you`ll live longer. If you can be honest in evaluating and understanding your purposes for smoking and replace them with good purposes for not smoking, then you have a shot at success. Of course, my “Quit Smoking” example is oversimplified, but you get the idea.
DON`T BE OVERWHELMED BY THE ENORMITY
OF CHANGE
It`s great to make changes, but cut yourself just a little slack. Realize that you took a lifetime to get where you are, and it may take a while to turn a behavior around. While some habits and behaviors may change radically in a split second (“I`m going to change my haircut” or “I`m going to remember Aunt Bessie`s birthday this year”), some may take a little time. Losing weight and quitting smoking (two popular resolutions) may take longer and require strategy. And most people do their best when they deal with only one or two changes at a time.
THE SIMPLE SECRET FOR FEELING POWERFUL
I once spoke with a woman who gave me her secret for turning her life around. When I met her, she was a vibrant, confident, and successful city administrator, but she admitted that she once was a self-avowed “mess” who could barely get out of bed in the morning. I asked her what changed her life. It was remarkably simple: A close friend had advised her to clean out a drawer. It was a small task and one with which she could cope, and she did it.
Getting this one small area of her life in order made her feel so good that she cleaned out a second drawer. She felt powerful and in control again. The second drawer turned into the entire bureau. She moved from the bureau to the closet, from the closet to the bedroom, from the bedroom to the house, from the house to the car, from the car to her life. You get the picture.
Small tasks that gave her little bits of control made big differences. The woman laughed when she confided in me that now when she feels out of control (as we all do from time to time), she simply cleans out a drawer and recaptures that delicious sense of power.
We all have “messy drawers”–areas in our lives that need attention. While the thought of tackling all that is wrong or “messy” is overwhelming, the trick is to make small changes that give us back our power and confidence. Do one thing that you`ve been meaning to do but haven`t gotten around to, and you`ll know what I mean. I have a secret list of things that are bugging me. And my New Year`s resolutions include whittling away at that list.
1996–YOUR NEW AND IMPROVED YEAR!
Get out your paper and pen. Be brutally honest with yourself. Make your list and then decide to make some changes. Make a promise to yourself for 1996 and then keep it. Remember that small changes can make big differences. You deserve to be the best you can be and to have a life that is under your control. Don`t get to the end of your days and think, “If only I had done….” Whatever it is, do it. Now. And, from me to you, Happy New Year! n
MICHAEL F. STALEY, a former firefighter and EMT, is a motivational speaker and heads Port Orange, Florida-based Golden Hour Motivational Resources, through which he also provides consulting and speaking services. He can be reached at (800) 622-6453.
