By Anne Gagliano
I’ve been asked several times if I enjoy traveling with my firefighter husband Mike on his (and now my) numerous teaching engagements. I always hesitate to answer because the answer is, quite frankly, a lengthy one. It is not a simple, “Yes, I love it,” or “No, I hate it,” but something in between. As does anything regarding firefighters, traveling with one involves extremes. And these extremes are multiplied a thousand-fold when the destination is an event that is hosted by, planned by, and all about firefighters. This is not exactly a vacation. But it’s not a “humdrum” business trip either. These excursions are stressful and exhausting yet also somehow invigorating. To survive them, I’ve had to adapt my “girlish notions” of controlled, peaceful, romantic getaways to be prepared for literally anything. When planning to travel with a firefighter to a firefighter’s event, keep in mind the following:
Details of the trip will be vague. Unlike family trips, which I carefully plan, I have very little foreknowledge of where we’re actually going and what exactly we’ll be doing—even if I’m to speak. Mike will give me the dates and an approximate location (like, “somewhere in Nevada”) and that’s about it. I don’t bother to request more information because he won’t have it anyway, as he doesn’t really ask and the firefighters planning the event don’t really volunteer much. They just “roll with it”’ and I’ve had to learn to do so as well. All of our speaking engagements have been like this, except for one. On this occasion, I was pleasantly surprised to find in our hotel room a printed, detailed itinerary with all the information I‘d always dreamed of having—wow! I wouldn’t be completely dazed and confused this time—I’d actually know what was going on! I thought, “This firefighter is really different than all the rest.” But then, no surprise, I found out later that the firefighter’s wife had supplied the details.
Packing for these trips is a nightmare. Because of the aforementioned vagueness of our trips, it’s very hard to know what to actually bring. Thus we show up for a three- or four-day stay with enough clothes to last for weeks. The firefighters who greet us always look slightly stunned by the amount of luggage we’re hauling as they politely load it into the vehicle. I imagine they’re quietly blaming the “clothes horse” of a wife, but the truth is–it’s the firefighter’s fault. My firefighter struggles to make simple decisions (hazard of the high-stress job), so he just throws in everything. I, on the other hand, am quite good at making simple decisions—when given the proper information. But since I typically travel uninformed, I have to plan for any contingency, so I throw in everything too. The result is a ridiculous amount of baggage that makes us look like ignorant tourists instead of efficient professionals.
Flying becomes a lesson in emergency medical training. When I fly with my firefighter, I get to see him in action. Flying today is a miserable, stressful experience that causes travelers to drop like flies: The longer the flight, the more likely they are to do so. After tiresome, invasive security checks, they pack us like sardines into the most uncomfortable seats ever designed, with no room to spare. Delayed flights lead to missed flights which then lead to even more stress. The result: lots of anxiety attacks and other medical emergencies. People have collapsed both on the plane and in the airport more times than I can count, and it’s always the same. The loved ones of the victim panic; the bystanders either look around for help or completely ignore the situation; and my firefighter/EMT is ultimately the only one who acts. It’s both a curse and a blessing to behold. The curse is having his time perpetually being dominated by the needs of others, often at the expense of our own travel plans. But the blessing is that I get to witness his display of righteous and masterful “coolness” as he administers aid to the fallen and comfort to the family, and I fall in love with him all over again.
My firefighter is my emergency exit. Because Mike and I both like window seats, we don’t sit together on the plane. When the flight attendant begins her safety speech, I quietly ignore her. I instead simply locate my firefighter and make my own plans; in the event of an emergency, all I have to do is get to him. He’ll make sure that I (and probably everybody else on board) will exit the plane safely. It is one of the perks of traveling with a pro!
Driving the rental car is not a sightseeing event. Most people think that reserving a rental car means leisurely driving in a pleasant, touristy fashion. Not so for us. My firefighter races through completely unfamiliar territory as if he knows it, forcing our Garmin to repeatedly declare “Recalculating route.” He simply drives too fast to make the correct turns (hazard of driving the fire truck for many years). But we do always get there safely and on time; I’ll settle for that.
Hotel amenities have a different meaning for the firefighter. Most hotel guests notice decor and comforts and look forward to settling in for a nice, relaxing stay. My firefighter, on the other hand, prepares for the worst-case scenario. I gaze at chandeliers and enjoy flower arrangements; he scans the ceiling for sprinklers and notes the placement of fire extinguishers. While I’m locating our room, he is locating the nearest staircase for an emergency exit and makes sure I’ve memorized the route. It’s a little disconcerting to imagine trying to escape a smoke-filled labyrinth, but since my firefighter has actually done such things, I can sleep with relative ease.
Firefighters plan unusual outings. I was told that we might be going into a “mine” on our Utah trip. Again, how do you pack for that? And how do I get out of it? But after many years of this, I decided not to panic and just see what happens. We did indeed go into a mine; we even got our own private tour! It was one of the most magical, amazing experiences of our lives. It was a Disney’s Seven Dwarves (we dig dig dig) meets Indiana Jones in an archeological, historical adventure complete with crystal grottos and sparkling waterfalls. And the firefighters even supplied the correct attire! Only they could conceive of such thrilling, original entertainment for their conference guests: Excitement is in their blood.
Traveling with my firefighter to see other firefighters broadens my horizons, tests my resolve, and forever expands my family. It’s always a bit of a wild ride, but so very worth it!
Anne Gagliano has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 29 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
